A Year of Change

It's hard to believe it is New Years Eve day. This year has gone by so fast. It has been a year filled with changes, most of them positive. (Putting on weight that I worked my arse off to lose is NOT one of those positive changes.) Nathan and I have had rough patches, but we are really trying to work on our relationship. The kids have grown exponentially, in so many ways. They never cease to amaze me. (Or irritate the crap out of me, but I guess that's their job.) I decided to take charge of my happiness and made some command decisions. As much as I miss my friends in Olathe, moving back has been a great thing. I've become closer to my brother and sister in law and that brings so much joy to my heart. I've reconnected with old friends and made some amazing new friends at work. I've started recarving my niche at DPD and really like my job for the first time in a long time. Sometimes starting over at the bottom isn't a bad thing. I've made a point to put myself "out there" and joined in activities on my mom's group and have formed friendships that are true lifesavers. I never knew what it was like to have friends like this. My life is so much fuller because of them. I never knew that Bunco and MNO could bring so much laughter!

So now we look onto 2009. I imagine it will bring about many more changes. While I'd love to lost 20 pounds, I'm not putting that expectation on myself. What I do expect is to bring on a healthier lifestyle for myself and my family. Mariah starts her schooling on January 5th. She'll be a peer model for the early childhood classes. She is ecstatic. In the fall she will start Kindergarten and Haley will begin 4th grade. Grayson will soon begin preschool. It will be strange to not have to fix boo-boos, quiet screams, and wipe away tears. I suppose Nathan will expect me to be a better housekeeper. I'll have to work on that. I have a nephew who is expected to make his entrance any day. I can't wait to meet Connor and see Peyton interact with him. My friend Christie is also due soon. I imagine Ms. Ivy will be just as beautiful as her older sister. Nathan and I started Financial Peace in 2008. While we have gotten off track, we are making it a goal to start over and use the tools we were taught.

I can't wait to see what this year brings; the laughter and the tears. It is sure to be a year I will never forget.

Happy Stinkin' Holidays to Me!

OK, I generally try to not complain about money. But, today just SUCKED! It's bad enough our tags have to be renewed right before Christmas, but we plan for that and try to work a little overtime here and there to cover that added expense. Well, today we socked with a huge, unexpected expense. Let me backtrack a little. We used to own 2 jet-skis and a double trailer. We sold them in April 2007. Last November I went and paid the 2006 taxes on them and I informed them we no longer had the skis or trailer. They said to send them a bill of sale so that our 2007 taxes could be pro-rated. So, when I got back to Gardner I photocopied it and stuck in the mail never giving it another thought. Fast forward to today. I call Sumner County to inquire what our 2007 bill looks like so I can come pay it. I'm expecting maybe $100. Well, it turns out the bill of sale never made it to the treasurer's office. So, we got stuck with an almost $500 tax bill. I am just sick over it. That had to come out of Christmas money and money I had saved up to pay my friends Peppi and Rudy. It just really sucks. And while I don't want to let it ruin my Christmas spirit, I must say that "Murphy" is doing a good job of dampening it. So, I'm going to rummage through my stuff and see if I can't get some of my Coach bags sold. I hate to do it, but I want to give the kids/family a Christmas and I want to pay back my friends. So, if I seem to say "no" in the next few weeks when it comes to going out or doing something fun, please don't think I'm being a scrooge. I'm trying my best not to be. I'm just going to scrooge-like when it comes to my money!

Do a Little Dance...

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Growth Spurts

Yeah, they suck. I know they are inevitable, but boy do they come at the wrong times! Middle Bit has decided that she needs to grow. I knew it was coming. The last few weeks she has eaten non-stop. (For those that have known her, she used to eat like a bird and was very picky.) She's also been taking 2 hour naps. Yesterday was my proof. She put on a pair of jeans that I purchased beginning of OCTOBER and they are getting too small. I'd adjusted the waist when she first wore them, so I let them out. They were also almost too short. Which means, she has an entire wardrobe of new clothes that are getting ready to be useless. It also means if her body is growing, her feet are sure to follow. That also means a collection of shoes that she can't wear. Now, when Haley does this it isn't so bad. I can hold onto the good stuff and pass it down to Mariah. I can't quite pass Mariah's stuff to Grayson! Ugh! Thank goodness I didn't buy her any clothes for Christmas!

Customer Service

I am one who thinks that the days of customer service are something of the past. And I'm not talking about sales people asking if you need anything, I'm talking about them going above and beyond to make you happy. It's rare that you find those people. And I do my fair share of shopping. Anyway, today did prove to me that not all hope is lost. I went to Von Maur to pick out a pair of boots. They were out in the size/color I was wanting. The salesman was very helpful and told me that he could call other stores and see if they had any and if they did, they would ship them directly to my house. Mind you, I was just in this same store the other night in a similar predicament and the salesBOY didn't even bother. He quickly dismissed me telling they only had a size 10. The gentleman today knew I had a couple other places to visit, not to mention I had 4 children tagging along with me. He took my information, put a hold on my 2nd choice of boots and another item I was purchasing and said he'd start calling. After about 45 minutes I made my way back and he told me he'd found my boots and I should expect them within the week. He'd called about half a dozen stores until he found them. He made my day. THIS is the type of customer service that people need to learn. If he hadn't found them, I'd have bought my 2nd choice without a second thought because he'd been so nice and tried to make me happy. So, next time you are in the shoe department of Von Maur, try to scout an a middle-aged man with glasses, I believe his name is Mark. He is wonderful and I will try to find him for my next purchase.

1 Off, 21 On

In the last 22 days, I have worked 21, with one day off. I worked 19 of those days back to back. Holy Cow! What was I thinking? I am sooo burnt out! 32 hours of overtime in 2 weeks is just too much. I know more about what is going on in the lives of my co-workers, their spouses and their kids than I do in what's going on the life of my spouse and kids. No, I don't get any "fun money" out of it, either. I'm being responsible and using it to renew the tags on the vehicles. I know, BORING! My husband has been feeling much like a single parent the last few weeks. However, the next couple of months won't be much better. It's now HIS turn to work the overtime. Plus, we've got the Food Co-op this month, Thanksgiving (at my house), birthday parties and other activities. Next month I'm having a get-together, then we've got Christmas (probably also at my house), my birthday, other birthdays/celebrations and then New Years. Maybe after the beginning of the year it'll settle down....maybe if I just click my heals....

Bravo!

There was quite a spectacle tonight at McDonald's on Rock Rd in Derby. A young girl (maybe around 10) was seen sitting at a table with some adults. She had a sign around her neck that read, "I am a bully and a liar". The adults she was with were carrying on as if everything was normal. Well, the manager didn't like the situation because the employees were too busy watching the child and not paying attention to their work. So, they took it upon themselves to call the police department. Mind you, the child was looking quite humiliated, but was not crying or acting scared in any way. The police come out and contact the adults, who turned out to be the girl's grandparents. Apparently, this young girl had struck another child at school. A note was sent home by the principal to the parents (who are currently out of town). The girl forged her parent's signature on the paper and turned it back in. When questioned, she lied about it multiple times until finally telling the truth. So, parents and grandparents came up with the sign as her punishment. I think it is fantastic. I love seeing parents and grandparents having an active role in their child's punishment. Yes, they could have grounded her or spanked her. But, I think this really drove a point home with her. It definitely caught the attention of everyone in McDonalds. More children need to learn their are consequences for their actions. I, for one, applaud these parents and grandparents. So, for those that know me, don't be surprised if you see one of my "Bits" running around with a sign.

Say a Little Prayer

The other night I was thinking how before every meal and at bedtime, we kids always said the same prayers. For dinner it was:

"God we thank you for this food. For rest and home and all things good. For wind and rain and sun above. But most of all for those we love. Amen."

It's funny after all these years that I still remember that like it was yesterday. For bedtime it was:

"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. To guide me safely through the night and wake me with the morning light. Amen."

When Haley was young, I'd sit down with her every night that I was home and I taught her the same bedtime prayer. As I had more kids and my work schedule (along with too many other things) got in the way. I've decided that I am going to make an effort to teach the kids my special prayers. But, I'd love to teach them some others as well. So, for those that have them, I'd love to see them.

2 Months!

Holy cow! There is only 2 months left until Christmas! Where has this year gone? It seems like yesterday that we were moving back and now it's the end of October!

I should have realized how close Christmas was. We went to Lowe's the other day and they already have aisles filled with decorations. K-Mart is advertising lay-away (the only smart discount store to offer it. Normally I don't shop there, but I may have to make an exception.) The worst perpetrator? Nick Jr and The Disney Channel. Not that I let my kids sit in front of a TV all day long, but my goodness. Every stinkin' time they turn that thing on there is a commercial for some new, great toy that one of the munchkins just HAS to have. The other day, Middle Bit tells me we need to go to the store. I ask her why. She mumbles the name of some toy and tells me, "It's available in stores now!" Fantastic. So now I have Middle Bit and Little Bit as walking advertisements. It's amazing how many toys/books/movies they "need". Boy, will they be disappointed come December 25th when they realize I didn't leave cheese for Santa.

So, the next two months will be spent saving and purging. Saving money for Christmas and purging all the old books/toys/movies that have lost their luster. I'm big on donating, so the local Care and Share will get their toys that have been taken care of (or barely played with.) I'm also going to start a tradition this year. All 3 kids will pick an angel off of the Angel Tree and purchase something for them. From now until then, the allowance they earn will help to buy a gift for someone who needs it more than they. I figure it's never too early (or too late) to start this lesson.

VICTORY!

Thanks to my wonderful sister-in-law, I now have a stash of Pumpkin Spice Kisses. They are as decadent as I imagined.

For those wanting or needing them, the new Target store in Derby had a bunch!

It's a Conspiracy!

These stores that put Pumpkin Spice Kisses in their ads...then you go to the store and they are out.

BASTARDS!

Conversations from the backseat

OK, get your mind out of the gutter. This is in no way a foray into breaking in the new car! These are just overheard conversations from my kidlets as they ride in the car.

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(A little intro...Rachael got a new puppy named Tallulah and brought it by to show the kids)

Me: Grayson, did Aunt Rachael come by and see you yesterday?
Mariah: Yes! And she brought her puppy!
Me: Grayson, do you know that dog's name?
Grayson: Yes! It's Tuna!


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Haley: My 20 questions game didn't guess what I was trying to be.
Me: What were you?
Haley: A baby
Me: And what were the guesses?
Haley: A butt and a human body
(long pause)
Mariah: A baby IS a human body! Duh, Haley!

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Grayson: That guy is driving a purple car!
Mariah: Purple is probably his favorite color.
(They giggle and we pull away from the stop light)
Grayson: Bye-bye loser!

Yes, a proud moment indeed....

Hump Day

OK, while I still think that is a bizarre name for the day, it still makes me giggle. Not only is today where we get over the hump of the work week (normal, banker-type people's work week, not mine), it also means only 2 more days until we close! (crossing fingers, toes, eyes, whatever will make it happen.) While I am excited about having a house, I LOATHE moving. And right now, we have stuff stored everywhere; at the rental, at Pep and Rudy's other empty rental, the storage unit (crammed full) and at the farm. Blech! At least I don't have too much stuff to pack up. Don't get me wrong, I am not really complaining. More just talking to hear myself talk because Mariah and Grayson don't have much of an attention span. I'm so excited I can't sleep at night. I think about where we are going to put stuff and what we can do. I also stress about how we are going to afford everything. But, I know I've been taught the tools thanks to Dave Ramsey. Nathan and I just need to buckle down and start using them again. We need to make it a way of life instead of an option. Anyway, my train of thought is so all over the place I'm starting to feel like Mariah and Grayson. Anyway, thanks for the well wishes. We are excited to make our house a home!

"In" vs "Out" Crowd

It's strange. All of my life it seems like I've struggled to find that place where I "fit". Some of it was my family. I mean, when you are the ONLY redhead and the middle child, that's already two strikes! It doesn't help I have a supersmart, beautiful older sister and a supersmart younger brother. I was always the average student who struggled to get decent grades. Most of the struggling to fit in happened at school, though. When I started elementary school I always thought I was friendly (Lord knows I was talkative.) I tried to befriend most people. But, I always seemed to fall just short of being part of the "in" crowd. You know, the girls who stood together and did cheers for the popular boys while they played basketball or football; the girls that had huge, elaborate slumber parties. I had friends that belonged, but when it came to me being PART of that crowd, I just never was. Once grade school and junior high hit, we really had our niches cut out. While I went through a horribly homely stage (hair turning curly, braces, glasses, the whole bit), the In girls were "blossoming" and starting to wear make-up. When it came time for cheerleader try-outs, it was pointless. Though many of us wanted it, we all knew who would get it. I'll never forget during junior high, some high school members of SADD came over and gave a performance. My sister was part of that performance. Later in the hallway I overheard some of the boys discussing her and one of the made a comment, "Her sister is so hot! I wonder what the hell happened to Marissa." And they all started laughing. For a teenage girl struggling to find herself, that was a heartbreaking blow. High school was a little better, but I still lived in the shadow of my sister. (She was obviously an IN girl.) Teachers often compared me to her. I had guys date me to try and get closer to her, or they would date me because they'd always had a thing for her. But again, I just never measured up the the 5'9" blond. But, I was making my own path. I participated in drama and thespians and debate. I became active in FHA and traveled. I proved that I could dance, too. But even being part of those clubs, I was still on the outskirts of "in". Though towards the end, I really didn't care about being popular. I had a core group of friends, and that was more than I could have asked for. (They still are to this day.)

So, here I am today. 30 years old and still trying to figure out how to fit in and still living in the shadow of Rachael. I'm so not kidding. For instance, one of the officers I work with had a serious crush on her growing up. She was "#1" for him. So, he lovingly refers to me as..."#2". (Seriously people...everytime he says it, it makes me think of poop. And who wants to live being referred to as poop?) Living in her shadow doesn't bother me so much now because I've got plenty to be proud of. But feeling socially inept at 30 is another thing. I think part of it goes back to my line of work. I spend 40+ hours a week speaking code or talking to complete fucktards on the phone. I have found a great group of women/moms and I am finally feeling like maybe I have somewhere that I belong...and maybe I finally am fitting in.

Mom=Maid?

Do you ever feel like those terms are interchangeable? That is how I have been feeling these last couple of months. I feel like all I do is dishes, laundry and cleaning. (Not to mention working full time and being home with the kids all day.) I'll purposely leave dishes in the sink thinking (hoping) they'll get washed. They don't. I say out loud, "I'm NOT washing these dishes." Yet, nobody else feels it necessary to wash them, knowing my OCD will kick in and I will have to wash them. Same with the laundry. How hard is it to take the items from the washer, put them in the dryer, take them out, fold and put away? Seriously. I'm just tired. You'd think being in a small house that the work would be less, but it's actually double. It doesn't take but a few things being out to make it look like a bomb went off. Is it too much to ask for (expect) a little bit of help? And by that, I mean to help without expecting a reward for it? (You moms know what I'm talking about..."they" do the dishes and want praise for it...it's like they've just climbed a mountain or something. We do it and...nothing.) Yes, I am bitching. I don't care. I have enough on my plate right now trying to get this deal closed on the house. I'm on the phone every single day talking to the mortage company, insurance companies, title company, attornies, realtors, etc. I'm. at. my. end.

Taking a much deserved break

Tonight I get to take a break from being mom, wife, maid, cook, nurse, and mediator. Tonight, I just get to be a girlfriend, if only for a few hours. I am going so sub at Bunco with some women from my mom's group. It'll be so nice to have adult company with many women that I haven't seen since before I moved to Gardner. I've never played Bunco, but I figure after a few drinks it won't matter much anyway!

On another note, we have less than 2 weeks before we close on the house. It still hasn't quite sunk in that we'll actually have a place to call our own. I want to get excited, but keep holding back in case something goes wrong. We have been very blessed with the kindness of my friends Peppi and Rudy who opened up doors to their rental so we had somewhere to live until we could find a home to buy. Their kindness can never be repaid. They have really become family to us over the years.

Anyway, I promised the kids a trip to the park to feed the ducks, so I guess I'd better get it together.

What do you miss?

I was reading a beauty blog a few days ago and it was about beauty products that have been discontinued. That got me thinking about that things, not necessarily beauty related (but mostly), that I miss. I mean, it never fails that I find a product that works really well on my skin or hair, then it's gone. Or, there is a certain shade of eye shadow or blush, then the next time you go to purchase it, the salesperson tells you they no longer make it. I also hate it when I find over the counter medications that work for my allergy/sinus issues then they quit making them. (Or people abuse them and you have to sign over your first-born child in order to get something with real Sudafed in it. Damn meth-heads.) Here are a few of mine, but I'd like to know what other people miss, because I surely am not alone. So, think hard and respond away!

Clean and Clear Shampoo/Conditioner
Chanel "Very Vamp" lipstick and nail polish
Benadryl Chewable Tablets (grape flavored)
Lancome Maqui Libre Foundation

Patience Pays

We found out on Sunday that the sellers accepted the offer on the house. They didn't even counter-offer. That really surprised us. So, if all goes right, we will close on or before September 26th. We are really excited, but we know that things can still go wrong and it could still fall through. To be honest, our credit history isn't the best. We've been working really hard the last year or so to improve it, but there have been times where we've slipped up. We are doing everything to keep things on track and hopefully the mortgage company underwriters will see it that way. So, I'm trying to keep my excitement contained so if something does happen that I'm not too let down. But, it's still fun to think about all of the possibilities. Thanks for your good thoughts, well wishes, prayers or whatever. Keep them up and I'll keep you apprised!

Falling into Place?

Gosh, I'm scared to even think it. Could it really be happening? It seems like everytime we think things are finally turning around, something else slaps us in the face. (Car repairs, tax liens, sick kids, etc) But, with the exception of Haley's Alopecia Areata diagnosis, we might be getting close to some sense of normalcy. We found a house that we LOVE and are waiting to hear back from Bank of America for our mortgage stuff. Once we get word, we'll be making an offer. Right now, it's a 2 bedroom 2 bath, but the basement is unfinished and has a rough-in 3rd bath and a daylight window so we can put in a 3rd bedroom. There is also a large storage room that we can split up between storage and play. It is walking distance to Haley's school where she will be for the next 3 years with Mariah and Grayson right behind. I'm trying to not get too excited, because if it falls through, we'll both be devastated. It's hard to believe we may actually be homeowners again instead of just renters! So, keep your fingers crossed that all goes well!

Mariah is sooo my child!

Last night we took the kids to dinner and they had a fountain that you could throw pennies into. After the kids ate, we gave them all a penny and told them to throw it in and make a wish. When they were done, Nathan asked Mariah what she wished for (thinking it would something along the lines of marrying Joe Jonas). Her response? "For Haley to be stuck on a tree." I thought Nathan was going to fall out of his chair laughing. She is SUCH a turkey!

Goodbye Death Trap!

Wooo-freaking-hooo!!! I finally got rid of my van, AKA "Death Trap". We'd been tinkering with the idea and had gone car hunting in Olathe, only to come home empty handed. Well, after driving it up there this weekend to get our last load of stuff, Nathan decided I was right and it was time to get rid of it. We think the computer was getting ready to go out, plus it needed all new breaks, rotors, shocks and struts. Not a cheap fix, especially considering the van wasn't worth much to begin with. We didn't get anything brand new, but it's new to me. It's a 2004 Tahoe LT. It is really nice. It is leather interior with 3 rows of seats and has about every option you could want, minus a DVD system. We got a pretty good deal on it and my payments are lower on it then they were on the van. I'll take some pics soon (and try to figure out how to post them).

Tomorrow

Is my first day at my new-old job. It's going to be strange. I don't know how people will accept me. Plus, I now have a new Cad/mapping system to learn plus I have to re-learn all of my old 10-codes. I'm sure I'll make a fool of myself the first few days; tone out things that don't need it and telling officers what code to run. I'll probably also give out a few J-codes. I can't believe I'm nervous, but I am. I don't want a lot of questions as to why I'm back and such. I just want to work and be done with it. But, I'm sure it won't be that easy.

In other news, Woody is feeling better. He's got a sore throat and lots of drainage, but no more 911 calls. He needs to see a doctor, but I'm sure that won't happen! Haley starts school on Wednesday. It's funny; some of the kids in her class I went to school/graduated with their parents. Nathan says it'll be like a big class reunion! We have an ice cream social tomorrow night at the school so she can meet her teacher and bring in her school supplies. She is very excited. We're still up in the air with Mariah and pre-k. She goes to test on the 21st. If she doesn't get in, we'll look into some area preschools that she can attend a couple of days a week.

That's about it for now. If you could say a prayer for a girl on my Mom's group, I'd appreciate it. She and her husband have experienced multiple pregnancy losses and she just found out at 20 weeks that she'd lost another. She had to be induced and will have a service for their precious girl this week. "C" is a very faith-based person and I admire how much strength she has displayed. But, I know this will be hard for their whole family.

I made "the" call

As a 911 dispatcher I get all kinds of calls and send help to people in need. But last night, I had to be the caller and try to patiently wait for the 911 dispatcher to help me. Nathan woke up and was having trouble breathing and suffering from chest pains. It scared the crap out of me. He is only 33, but has a long family history of heart problems. So, at 11:30 last night we had a rescue vehicle with 2 firemen and an ambulance with 2 paramedics at my house. They came blaring lights and sirens, as I knew they would. I must say, I don't like being on the calling end of the phone. Seconds seem like minutes and silence lasts an eternity. It was scary to see my husband hooked up to oxygen and a pulse-ox monitor. But, he is OK. It looks like the beginning of a nasty respiratory infection, probably brought on by not taking care of himself during this move. I hope from now on, I can be on the receiving end of the calls.

Too Smart for School?

How much sense does that make? Mariah is chomping at the bit to go to school so I thought with us being back I'd put her in Pre-K. Sounds easy, right? Not so much. Apparently, she has to be tested and if she is too smart, there won't be a place for her. How do you explain to a 4 year old that they can't go because they aren't dumb enough?

Almost There

Well, today is my last day at work. It's all kind of bittersweet. I'm excited about being closer to family, but I'm sad to leave the friends I've made. Wednesday and Thursday at work won't be the same without Ryan and Christa and our YouTube videos. I will also never look the same at biscuit dough again! We are going out for one last night of fun after I get off work at 11. But, I do have to show some self control.

The moving truck will be here tomorrow morning. (Which is why I have to behave tonight.) My inlaws are coming up to help load the truck. Some of it is going to the temporary rental. Some of it is going into Pep and Rudy's other empty rental and the rest is going in the storage unit. For those that don't know, Peppi and Rudy and great friends of mine who are allowing us to live in their rental until we can find more permanent housing. It's tiny, but it's affordable! My best friend is coming by tomorrow and taking the girls with her and they are staying the night in Derby while we move and unpack. I am so blessed to have such great friends who step up and help out. I'll owe them a girl's night out when all of this is done. Oh yes, and I have to cook Rudy dinner. (Once I figure out who to cook on a gas stove.)

Next week will be busy. I have to enroll Haley in school and also take my pre-employement physical. I've also got to get back up to Gardner to clean the house. Next Saturday we are doing our final walk-thru and I am PRAYING to get our full deposit back. We really need that money.

Other than that, not a lot going on! LOL! My first day at work is supposed to be the 13th, but I'm hoping to change that because it's also Haley's first day of school and I always get her ready and bring her. But, Nathan may take that roll this year. So, I probably won't be updating until our internet gets turned on next week. Wish us luck and we look forward to being back!

To buy or rent, that is the question

Well, we are still not having luck finding a rental. So now we have to decide whether to continue looking or purchase a home. However, I'd still need a place to live for like a month until we can close. I found a house in Mulvane that I really like, but I need to sell Nathan on it. It is old and has tons of character. It has a great front porch, too! However, the back taxes we owe are standing in the way. We have to pay them off before we close on a house. So, still lots more thinking to do.

It Shouldn't Be This Hard

To find a dang place to live! When we moved up to Olathe, I found a house with a few clicks of my mouse. Same with daycare. However, it appears that the landlords of Wichita haven't joined the program. You can barely find anything on-line. Then if you do, getting them to return calls or emails is like pulling teeth! I don't get it! On top of that, everyone has raised their rent prices. So here I am, taking a $5,000 a year pay cut and everyone else is raising their prices. I was moving back to Wichita to get a lower cost of living, not make less and pay what I'm paying up here! I sure as hell hope that landlords of Wichita know how to use a newspaper and I can find something tomorrow morning when we get in!

It also shouldn't be this hard to pack up a house! Holy crap! I'm finding a lot of stuff we've moved multiple times should never have been moved. I've found boxes of magazines belonging to Nathan. Apparently he thinks they'll be worth money someday. I've got news for him. They aren't original Playboy magazines, therefore they're worth NOTHING. It also doesn't help that I get stuff packed up, go to work, and then the kids unbox it all.

I'm almost ready to say "screw it" and just stay here.

Holy Schmoly!!!

Well, it turns out my patience paid off. I received my job offer this morning. The kicker? They want me to start August 11th!!! That give me less than a month to find somewhere to live and move and find daycare. OMG! We just did this last year and I vowed to not do it again. So much for that vow! I may have to push my starting date back a week, but we still have to be moved in that short amount of time due to Haley starting school. So, don't expect a lot of updates and such from me since we're going to be packing maniacs. For my KC area readers, I'm going to be selling a lot of stuff, so if you are looking for things, let me know!!! For my Wichita readers, if you know of houses for rent in the Mulvane/Rose Hill/Derby area, WRITE ME!!!! OK...back to packing!

Still Waiting

It's a good thing I'm busy at work, because it helps to keep my mind off of everything else. I still haven't heard anything from Derby and I'm getting antsy. I said if we are going to do this, it needs to be before school starts because I don't want Haley to have to change schools in the middle of the year. So, I'm torn between packing and looking for a house down there, or finding a new house here.

We're supposed to go car hunting this weekend. The van is starting to act up, so I need out of it before something really goes wrong with it. Hopefully we'll get on trade-in at least what I owe. Our credit still sucks, so we probably won't end up any better on payments, but at least we'd have something with a warranty. No, it doesn't really follow Dave Ramsey's plan, but we can't afford to make repairs AND make the van payment. I don't know what we are going to get, but it'll have to be something that the kids can all fit in with their carseats. So, hopefully next week I'll be able to post new car pics.

Grayson turned 3 on Saturday. Gosh, that is hard to believe. My baby is no longer a baby, but a full-fledged toddler in his thunderous threes. He is such a big boy. He is speaking so much more and potty trained. Man it's nice to not have to buy diapers anymore!

Well, that's about it for now. My work schedule has changed, so I'm trying to adapt as well as the kids. Hopefully I'll have some news...SOON!

Patience

If you ask any of my kids what patience means, they will tell you "waiting without complaining". Apparently, I need to practice a bit of this myself. After wallowing in pity and pretty much giving up, Derby posted the ad this morning. So, now I'm a ball of emotions and I haven't even filled out the application! Not to worry, I will. But, I was going through it and realized that I forgot to renew my driver's license! YIKES! Somehow that escaped me. So, I have to go get a new license today so I can have a proper expiration date. We haven't really told a lot of people what is going on. Well, unless you count the whole internet, but not THAT many people read my blog. So, I will finish my application later, then the true test of patience will begin.

Decisions

It sucks being lead on. I got a call last Monday from my old Lt. with Derby telling me they were opening up a position and would I be interested in applying. It was a call I'd been waiting for. For the last week I've checked their website multiple times a day just so I wouldn't miss it. Well, it's been like a week and a half and I'm beginning to think that my dream of going back is gone. So now I have a decision to make. Do I start a job hunt for Wichita and do something different with my life or do I stay in Olathe doing what I'm doing?

At a Crossroads (crazies and asshats unite!)

Where to begin? It's been a while since I've been on. Our online access is limited at work (ie NO blogging websites). The last month has been packed full of nothingness and chaos at the same time. Haley finished school and is home for the summer. We had a meeting at work saying we weren't getting a raise this year. (This from the same city who doesn't provide shift differential or yearly cost of living raises.) On top of that, half the department has one foot out the door. We have now had our normal shifts (8-12-12-8) taken away and are going to 5, 8-hour shifts. Bye-bye 3 day weekend and having Sat-Mon off. Nathan's work doesn't have anything locally so he is bouncing between Overland Park, Lawrence, Iola and Wichita. They also change their minds multiple times a day as to where he is supposed to be, so I'm never really sure where he is working. We no longer have daycare because my provider decided to get off her meds and piss me off. So, I'm currently working all night, then coming home and taking care of the kids. Then I sleep when Woody gets home until it's time for me to go to work. I'm a real peach right now. Yes, I have feelers out there for new daycare. I've decided we'll probably not go with another in-home provider because the kids need stability and Woody and I need to know that we have reliable care for them. We're also looking into the option of hiring a nanny/housekeeper, but we will see which is more affordable. OK, I think that covers the crazies and asshats.

For my crossroads. What do I do? Nathan and I have decided if the opportunity presents itself, we will move back to Wichita. I thought I'd found that opportunity, but it was short-lived. However, it doesn't mean another won't come along. We agreed last year that we would give it (Olathe) a year and see how we felt. Our year is almost up and we've decided that we just don't belong here; that it will never be "home" to us. With all the crazies and asshats (see above) we need family and friends to be buffers and sounding boards. It just isn't the same over the phone or through email. Olathe/Johnson County isn't a bad place, it just isn't the place for us. With that being said, it may end up that we are here another couple of years (not by choice). If a job opportunity isn't availabe before the new school year begins, we won't move (unless they make a deal we can't refuse). It's bad enough Haley will have to start a new school, but I don't want her to try and do it in the middle of a school year. We are still second-guessing our decisions, but I guess only time will tell. We thought we'd made the decision to stay and then I got homesick and frustrated.

Anyway, that's my life right now; decisions, crazies and asshats.

Our Journey

It's hard to believe it has been just over a year since we took a different road in our journey of life, marriage, parenting and jobs. Last May is when I began the hiring process with Olathe. This coming Friday will mark a year since my interview and polygraph. It doesn't seem possible. Once we started down this road, everything became a blur. We began preparing our kids, family and friends on the possibilities of what might lie ahead. Even though we were walking into it blind ourselves, we didn't want anyone, especially the kids taken by surprise. It was June when I got the call offering me the job and a mere few weeks later when we moved. I will say, it hasn't been easy. It's been a huge adjustment for all of us. Throughout the year I've constantly second-guessed my decision, but I'm finally coming to peace with it. I still miss my family and friends. I've had friends pretty much drop off the face of the earth, but I've had others step up and keep me going. I think my marriage was also saved by the move. We've had to rely on each other and don't have the interference we did before. The kids are learning to love it up here. Haley loves her school and our neighborhood is full of schoolmates. When we looked at moving back to Wichita, we had to take her into consideration. She's been in 3 different schools in 3 years. That's a lot for a little girl. So, putting our children and their happiness first, it looks like we will continue down this road that God led us to. We know it won't be easy, but for that we are prepared.

Time for a change

I still can't quite believe it. Last night I had about 6 inches cut off my hair. I've been trying to grow it out forever and it was finally down past my shoulders WITH it being curly. It's now a chin-length bob. It looks cute, but I still surprise myself when I look in the mirror. But, it was time. All I did was put it up in a ponytail. Plus, I was shedding so much I there are days I could have made a wig for Barbie! But, most of all, I needed this for myself. I was just in a rut. I've only got 10 lbs left until I hit my weight-loss goal (I've now lost 35 lbs) and I needed this. I've tried buying myself new clothes and decided I now hate shopping. (I know some of you are gasping considering I used to be a shopping queen.) I think a lot of it is because I'm so used to seeing the extra weight on me that when I try on clothes I still see the fat. So, maybe this fresh new look will help me out.

Time for an update

OK, so my last couple of posts have been downers. Sorry. So, I thought I'd take a few minutes to spin you up on what is going on with our family.

I'll start with the kiddos. Haley is almost done with 2nd grade. She is doing VERY well. She is reading at a 4th grade level and her math skills are amazing. She continually scores in the top of her class. (She must get that from Woody!) She has a "best friend" that lives next door and they are together ALL the time. Mariah is growing like a weed. She had her 4th birthday in January and thinks she is 14-with the attitude to match. She is definitely a middle child! She is so much like me; dramatic and over the top! She is also very free-spirited. She begs me every day to go to school, so I'm looking into local pre-schools for her. Grayson is approaching his 3rd birthday and it's setting in that he is no longer a baby. He is now potty-trained, even at night. It happened in less than a month's time. He was easier than the girls! He is a very emotional child and needs to learn to express himself through words and not tantrums. So, I'm trying to work with him on it. He and Mariah started a new sitter and we'll see how it goes. She thought she was ready for them, but I think they are going to end up being too much for her.

Nathan and I are doing OK. I'm working 3rd shift, which is difficult, but I'm trying to adjust. Obviously by my last few posts you can tell that I am homesick. Nathan thinks it's because of my job, and that may just be the case. I'm trying to get ready for a garage sale. I have 3 tubs full of clothes and a few other things. But, I need more than that for a successful sale. I've never done a garage sale on my own, so it should be interesting! Nathan is still working for the same company. I guess he likes his job. I wish they'd quit screwing with him, though. They expect him to do the work of a foreman without the pay. He drives pretty far every day and with the price of gas (especially diesel for the truck), a raise in pay would be nice!

It's hard to believe our journey here started just under a year ago. Who knew what started out as an innocent phone call to compare pay scales would result in a move! I'm still trying to make friends, but it's hard working 3rd shift. Plus, I'm just not the outgoing person I used to be. I find it hard to put myself out there. I need to work on that. I also started my weight-loss journey around this time last year. So far I have lost over 30 lbs. I have about 10 more to go and I'll be at my goal. Anything after that is just icing on the cake.

That's about it for now. I'll try to post pics once I figure out how!

You're Gonna Miss This

I thought I had it rough growing up in a small town. I always thought there had to be something more out there. I was bored with the way that NOTHING ever happened there. I complained about eating Dairy King all the time. I hated not even having a decent grocery store in town. My parents always tried to tell me it wasn't that bad and that some day I'd appreciate it. I grew up and moved away. Yet, when it came time for me have a family and put my first child in school, I wanted to be back in that same town. I didn't want my daughter to feel lost in a big school where she was just another number. Well, a series of events occurred forcing us to leave our little has we'd grown to love and town I knew like the back of my hand. A couple of moves later and I'm still trying to find that "safe place" that was provided to me all my life. I can't find my niche in a town or in a job. I miss my parents so much that I tear up writing this. I miss my family and friends so much that my heart hurts. There are days it hits me out of nowhere and my emotions make it hard to breathe. All those times of my parents telling me, "You're going to miss this" I never listened or believed. Now I wonder if it's too late. We moved to try and provide a better life, but how is it better if you're miserable? Then again, how can I make the kids move again and switch schools again? I can't turn their lives upside down and make them pay for the mistakes that I've made. Is there a way to find that happy medium?

Migraines

There's nothing like getting knocked flat on your butt with a migraine. Can I tell you how sick I am of these headaches? I've been getting them for years, but lately they have been coming more frequently and with much more intensity than in the past. I've been taking generic Midrin for a couple of years and it helps if I can catch the migraine from the start. The problem is, I wake up with them, and by then it's so intense that NOTHING helps me. I've tried other the counter stuff and even used "Head-On" (which actually does provide some relief). The problem is, they are all just "band-aids". I need to find out what is triggering them and what I can do long-term to keep them at bay. Our insurance at work sucks, so going to a billion different specialists isn't going to happen. I just hate how these headaches affect me. Not only do they make it hard to function in my daily life, it makes it extremely difficult at work to pay attention, they make me moody and I snap at Nathan and the kids. It's awful. I feel so NOT like myself, but I can't help it. So, if any of you have suggestions, send them my way. I'm almost to the point where I will try anything to get some relief!

A New Obsession

For those of you that have known me for any length of time, you know I have this "thing" for shoes and purses. I LOVE them. I guess a lot of the reason behind that is no matter what my weight has been, those two things always fit. They can be so much fun and really add that extra "something" to an outfit. Over the years I've done better at taming my obsession. I still drool over the new Coach bags and shoes and SOMEDAY will own a LV Epi Cannes in red. But for now, I have found something fun and cheap! It is eyeglasses! A friend of mine turned me onto this website www.zennioptical.com . Their glasses start at around $9 a pair for single vision prescription glasses. They have hundreds to choose from. I'm in eyeglass heaven!!! I know, most of you are used to seeing me in contacts, but there is something in the air in Olathe that has my allergies driving me crazy, so I've started wearing my glasses more. I was bored with the couple pair I had and now I have 3 lovely new pair that I can sport. Even better, I got for less the $40 shipped!!! I now keep checking for new arrivals and have my eye on a couple pair to make into prescription sunglasses. Seriously, for you accessory lovers like myself, check it out. You won't be disappointed!

I Jinxed Myself

I knew as soon as I said we were all healthy something would happen. Of course, it happened to me. I have a lovely head/chest cold-allery-sinus stuff thanks to the weather. My nose is raw from blowing it so much and I even use the good Kleenex! I'm sure my coworkers are tired of hearing my cough, sneeze, sniffle and blow my ever-running nose. My ears are also stopped up which makes it kind of hard to properly hear my radio. It's bad when officers are coming in and asking which one of us is sick. BUT, this stupid cold is NOT going to stop me from coming to Wichita next week! I won't let it! I have a playdate as soon as I get into town to meet up with friends and have some good girl time. Not sure what else I'll do while I'm "home". Probably just enjoy seeing my parents, siblings, family and friends. It's going to get crammed into a few short days, but I NEED this trip. I'm homesick something terrible. I'll miss getting to see the kids hunt for Easter eggs, but got some cute things for their baskets, not to mention some stinkin' cute outfits. Now I just need to find shoes. Guess I'll add that to my list. Well, I need to go blow my nose and refill my water.

Making myself happy?

How do you do it? I've always been a people pleaser, putting other's happiness before my own. Before it was my parents and friends, now it's my children. It used to make me happy that I made others happy, but I'm starting to not feel that way. Not that I don't want others to be happy, but I'm beginning to wonder when it's my turn. We moved to Olathe with the hope and promise that things were going to be better for us. That the money we'd be making would offset the the cost of living and give us some extra to pay down debt. Such has not been the case. Neither Nathan or I are making what was told to us and we are struggling just as much, if not more, than we were in Wichita. It doesn't help that I don't really have any friends up here that I can turn to. I have girls I work with that are nice, but if the complaint is about work, how do I do that? I'm just very disenchanted with a lot of things right now. I think a lot of it is that I am homesick. Nathan can go back to Wichita anytime and still have a job with the same company. I don't have that luxury. I can't go back to Derby making starting wage and since I don't have my degree, I can't get a job paying me what I make now. I just don't know what to do. I DO know that my unhappiness is leaking out into my daily life. I have a shorter temper with Nathan and the kids and things are work irritate me easily. I just feel like I'm not myself anymore. I can't make anyone happy because I'm so unhappy with myself and the way my life is going. Do I just suck it up and deal with it because the kids are finally getting settled in and making friends? Do I start looking elsewhere for a job? I just don't know...I just know that I want to be happy.

A Friend

I received this in an email from my mother in law and loved it.

WHAT IS A FRIEND?
Your Heart is your Love,
Your love is your Family ,
Your family is your Future ,
Your future is your Destiny ,
Your destiny is your Ambition,
Your ambition is your Aspiration ,
Your aspiration is your Motivation ,
Your motivation is your Belief ,
Your belief is your Peace ,
Your peace is your Target ,
Your target is Heaven,
Heaven is no fun without FRIENDSIt's "

F - Few
R -Relations
I- In
E - Earth
N - Never
D - Die

Healthy?

Gosh, I'm afraid to say the word out loud! It's kind of like mentioning we're quiet at work because you know as soon as you do, the crap hits the fan! But, it looks like everyone is well on the road to recovery. Grayson hasn't had a fever since Sunday morning. We're still giving him breathing treatments, but we do those periodically year round due to his RAD. So, I'm crossing my fingers we are out of the sick zone!

Spring break is approaching and I am hoping to take a few days and come to Wichita. I'm not making any promises, but I REALLY want to come and visit. I miss my family and friends and I need a break. I can't take time off of work, so it'll be a short visit, but worth it.

Anyway, I'm at work and need to get myself into work mode. Wishing everyone a good week!

Financial Peace

Financial and Peace...not normally two words that you associate with each other. But, we are on our way there. Nathan and I enrolled in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. It's a 13 week class that teaches how to get out of debt and stay out debt. This class is WONDERFUL. I would advise anyone to take it. Nathan and I had just become so overwhelmed in our debt that we didn't know what to do. We had more month than money and were constantly at each other's throats. I wanted to budget and Nathan thought it was pointless. We were spending like we had money when we didn't and charging like we could afford the payments. Well, all of that is stopping. We are following Dave's "Baby Steps" and learning how to live within our means. If we keep things up like we are right now, in 18 months we will be debt free with the exception of my student loans. Do you know how good that feels? 18 MONTHS!!! I know to some that may seem like an eternity, but to us it is the light at the end of the tunnel. We'll no longer be slaves to credit card companies or the IRS. Once the student loans are paid off, the only debt we hope to have will be a mortgage. We're going to try to live as debt free as possible. It's really a good feeling. Now that we are on the same page about finances, it has really lifted a heavy burden. We aren't perfect by any means, but at least we are working together. We are working on a zero-based budget and using the envelope system. It's taking a lot of work, but I know it'll be worth in the long run. Taking this class may also have been a lifesaver to our marriage.

Update on Grayson

Well, I was wrong. It isn't croup, it's influenza. The poor child is just miserable. They chose to not give him Tamiflu because in children as young/small as him it can cause psychotic episodes. Well, we don't need any of those! His fever is lingering at 104.5. It goes down a bit with Motrin, but won't stay down. He's also taking Albuterol treatments with the nebulizer. He hates it, but it seems to be helping his breathing. If his temp gets much higher or he grows more lethargic or if he spikes a fever and goes into a febrile seizure, he'll have to go to the hospital. He isn't eating and barely drinking. His eyes are glassy and rimmed in red. It was so hard to leave him and come to work but he is in the capable hands of his daddy. So, crossing fingers the other kids don't get this. Nathan has already had it and I took a preventative of Tamiflu when Woody was sick, so hopefully it'll leave us alone. I've been sanitizing everything in the house and making the girls wash their hands A LOT. Anyway, it's going to be a long 12 hours at work knowing my baby is sick. :(

Sick, again

I swear, one of us gets well and the next one gets sick. Poor Grayson has really taken the brunt of it this winter. For those that don't know, they think he is having abdominal migraines in which he wakes up at night vomitting. It's on it's own "cycle" and is happening to him every 2 weeks. We are currently trying to get in with a pediatric GI at Children's Mercy. Last night he woke up and was really struggling to breathe. I think he may have croup. We are going to the doctor at 2:45 today. He's coughing like a seal and running a fever of 104. He HATES medicine (and will tell you that), so getting anything in him to get the fever down is next to impossible. So, I'm trying to keep him comfortable and let him rest as much as possible. I'll try to update later. (I work 7p-7a the next few days so I can't guarantee my posts will make a lot of sense!)

Wow, my first REAL blog!

I've blogged on my mom sites and on myspace, but this is my first real blog I've done. Not quite sure where to begin. My life has been insane lately and I really need somewhere to post my feelings/inadequacies/whatever. With a full time job and 3 littles at home, everything IS an emergency.