Monday, April 21, 2008
You're Gonna Miss This
I thought I had it rough growing up in a small town. I always thought there had to be something more out there. I was bored with the way that NOTHING ever happened there. I complained about eating Dairy King all the time. I hated not even having a decent grocery store in town. My parents always tried to tell me it wasn't that bad and that some day I'd appreciate it. I grew up and moved away. Yet, when it came time for me have a family and put my first child in school, I wanted to be back in that same town. I didn't want my daughter to feel lost in a big school where she was just another number. Well, a series of events occurred forcing us to leave our little has we'd grown to love and town I knew like the back of my hand. A couple of moves later and I'm still trying to find that "safe place" that was provided to me all my life. I can't find my niche in a town or in a job. I miss my parents so much that I tear up writing this. I miss my family and friends so much that my heart hurts. There are days it hits me out of nowhere and my emotions make it hard to breathe. All those times of my parents telling me, "You're going to miss this" I never listened or believed. Now I wonder if it's too late. We moved to try and provide a better life, but how is it better if you're miserable? Then again, how can I make the kids move again and switch schools again? I can't turn their lives upside down and make them pay for the mistakes that I've made. Is there a way to find that happy medium?