Monday, April 21, 2008

You're Gonna Miss This

I thought I had it rough growing up in a small town. I always thought there had to be something more out there. I was bored with the way that NOTHING ever happened there. I complained about eating Dairy King all the time. I hated not even having a decent grocery store in town. My parents always tried to tell me it wasn't that bad and that some day I'd appreciate it. I grew up and moved away. Yet, when it came time for me have a family and put my first child in school, I wanted to be back in that same town. I didn't want my daughter to feel lost in a big school where she was just another number. Well, a series of events occurred forcing us to leave our little has we'd grown to love and town I knew like the back of my hand. A couple of moves later and I'm still trying to find that "safe place" that was provided to me all my life. I can't find my niche in a town or in a job. I miss my parents so much that I tear up writing this. I miss my family and friends so much that my heart hurts. There are days it hits me out of nowhere and my emotions make it hard to breathe. All those times of my parents telling me, "You're going to miss this" I never listened or believed. Now I wonder if it's too late. We moved to try and provide a better life, but how is it better if you're miserable? Then again, how can I make the kids move again and switch schools again? I can't turn their lives upside down and make them pay for the mistakes that I've made. Is there a way to find that happy medium?

2 comments:

Chelle said...

Ya know Marissa, I was just thinking about this same thing the other day! About my aunt and uncle telling me "You're gonna Miss This" You're in my thoughts and prayers girl!
Trace Adkins even wrote a song about that phrase

She was staring out the window of their SUV
Complaning, saying "I can't wait to turn 18"
She said "I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules"
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said "I was just like you"

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her "It's a nice place"
She says "It'll do for now"
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and saysAnd s "Baby, just slow down"

Cause you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
And she keeps apologizin'
He says "They don't bother me.
I've got 2 babies of my own.
One's 36, one's 23.
Huh, it's hard to believe, but...

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this"

Kimble-Wood said...

That song is what spawned my title. I can't listen to it without crying. I'm a mess.