Scrapbooker's Delight

With the holidays just around the corner, I find myself perusing Etsy a little more than normal. I'm involved in several gift exchanges and always like to find something a little different. I came across Hebeaccessories and found this adorable tape. I have a "thing" for matroyshka dolls, so this is right up my alley. If I scrapbooked I would probably squeal with delight opening this little treasure. So, check them out! Lots of cute stuff and oh so affordable!



http://www.etsy.com/shop/Hebeaccessories

Personalized

Having 3 kids can create quite the quandry when it comes to purchasing items. They all want what each other has, but if you buy identical you can't ever tell them apart! My kids love having things with their names on, especially the younger two since it's difficult to find anything with their name! I found these last year and they were a HUGE hit! I think Santa will possibly purchase the matching bowls this year. So, if you like personalized stuff, check out www.emtannerdesigns.com

Grumpy

I think that is my new name. It seems that is what Nathan and the kids are calling me as of late. But, I can't blame them. I am GRUMPY. I did something stupid. I decided that I would attempt to get off of my Paxil. I'm not sure why I made that decision. It must have been temporary insanity. But, I know it was a mistake. I know that a lot of people look down on other people who take this type of medicine. Or they have some kind of pre-conceived notion of what "kind" of people take it. But let me tell you, I didn't ask for this. Anxiety and depression run in my family. I think almost every female on either side suffer from one or both. For many years I suffered through it; barely being able to go out to dinner or go shopping without feeling like I was going to get sick or hyperventilate, or both. After many heart to hearts with family members, friends and my doctor we all came to the conclusion that the stigma of being medicated was worth it if I could lead a "normal" life. Well, fast forward to a few weeks ago. I thought I was doing OK and for some reason thought I'd be brilliant and attempt to live my life without my Paxil. Bad idea. I often have days where I feel like I can hardly breathe or like I am coming out of my skin. It has been exasterbated by issues going on at work. I've come to the conclusion that I will most likely have to be on this for the rest of my life. But, I am finally growing OK with it. Some people just need "help" and I guess I am one of those people. (And I really can't believe I just shared that with the entire internet world.)

For the Shoe Lover

I am a confessed shoe whore and have apparently passed the trait along to my girls. (I could have passed along worse!) I've been trying to come up with a scheme for girls' room (whenever Hubs decides to finish it) and I think these would look fantastic smattered about the walls.



http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=7220533

Look Good Enough To Eat...

Even though they are vegan, I think I will pass. These soaps are so.stinkin'.cute! Made by DirtyAssSoaps on Etsy. I think these will make adorable party favors!



http://www.etsy.com/profile.php?user_id=5111675

Etsy

It's no big secret that I LOVE to shop. Seriously. Especially when it comes to my kids. It must be something inherited from my mom. (I like to pass blame.) I've been a huge Ebayer for years. Sadly enough, I've bought more than I've sold. Then, along came Etsy. I did my damndest to stay away. I really did. But there is just TOO much cute stuff. And I am a sucker for custom-made items. (Shoot, the kids used to be Ebay models on the custom circuit for a while.) I had been doing really well and hadn't purchased a single item, just coveted them until Mother's Day. I found something I wanted and Nathan ordered one for me and his mom. Now, I am truly hooked. Guess I'd better start selling on Ebay to fund my passion for Etsy. So, every once in a while I'll hook you up with some of my favorite sellers. The first is The Vintage Pearl. Nathan bought me an awesome necklace for Mother's Day that has the kids's names stamped on it. The second is a gal who makes the cutest placemats. What great gifts!

(This is not the necklace that Nathan purchased for me, but similar)



http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5135533



http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6105239

I figure if I'm going to be addicted, I'm NOT doing it alone!

One Vice Down

I am officially free of soda for 3 weeks! I know it doesn't seem like much, but it is huge for me. I am a Diet Coke addict. Now, I haven't totally given up caffiene (I do work 3rd shift), but I have cut down on it tremendously. I mostly only drink water with the occassional iced tea or Crystal Lite. So, step one on my way to weight loss. (I hope.)

Today I am starting my 30 in 30. I know I am late, but there have been several issues hindering my start date. But, today I am ready and focused. (It helped trying on clothes from last summer. Or should I say, attempting to try them on.) Nothing like a kick in the pants.

My friend Sara has convinced me to train for a triathalon for next year. Nathan says he will join me as will 2 of my best friends, Kinzi and Callie. Now to just find one to compete in!

I hope you all have a safe and happy Memorial weekend.

Changes...They are a coming!

I don't want to get into it all right now, but I've got some big life changes coming up. If I'm not around, or I seem moody, just please know it isn't anything personal.

30 in 30

I got this idea from another blog I read. I wish I could take credit, but I cannot. I've talked quite a bit about my battle with bulge. I'm a little obsessive. Sorry. But I've come to the realization that the reason I'm not losing is two-fold. #1 I LOVE food! #2 I HATE excercise! Bad combination. So, I have set a goal for myself. I'll need help attaining this goal, but I know I have to do it. I've decided for the next 30 days, I will do 30 minutes of physical activity each day. I'm not going to limit myself to what I might do, because I know the boredom will set in. So, it might be a walk (I don't run unless being chased), a bike ride or just a work-out video. I'm hoping by the end of 30 days I will no longer loathe exercising and it will just be a formed habit. So, wish me luck and PLEASE hold me accountable!

Sharing

I thought I'd share a picture of why my life is blessed. Not only has God given me 3 wonderful (most of the time) children to watch over daily, He has also gifted me with 2 special nephews. What I wouldn't do for any of these kids...



Middle Bit: 5 Years
Big Bit: 8 1/2 Years
Baby C: 3 months
P: 2 Years
Little Bit: 3 1/2 Years

Mother's Day

It's hard to believe that I have been blessed with 8 Mother's Days. Some of them have been full of joy and others have been sad, but no matter the emotion of the day I know that my cup truly runneth over. My 3 bits make each day interesting and exciting. Viewing the world through their eyes is always an experience. On this day I also remember 2 other special bits of my life who watch over us every day from Heaven. I know that one day I will also hear their special voices calling me Mom.

I have been blessed with an amazing mom. She may tend to be over the top and totally dramatic, but I couldn't love her more or have more admiration for her.

My heart and life have been blessed to meet so many wonderful moms the last few years. It makes my heart swell when I think of some of the great friends I have made and how this variety of women has completed my life.

A good friend and fellow mom sent this to me and I tucked it away knowing one day I'd share it. I think today is the perfect day. So thank you Kim and happy FIRST Mother's day to you and to all the wonderful mommies out there.

Invisible Mother......
>
> It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.
>
> Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
>
> Obviously, not.
>
> No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
>
> I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
>
> Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What > number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
>
> I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!
>
> One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..
>
> Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.
>
> I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.
>
> I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'
>
> It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe ..
>
> I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
>
> 'To My Dear Friend, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
>
> In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
>
> No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
>
> These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
>
> They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
>
> The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
>
> A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees'
>
> I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.
>
> It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
>
> At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.
>
> It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
>
> I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
>
> The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
>
> When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him
> to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'
>
> As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.
>
> And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
>
> Great Job, MOM!
>

> Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does.
>
>
> We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.

A Trip to the Dentist

The other day I was feeling very courageous and took all 3 bits to the dentist. It was the first time for Middle Bit and Little Bit. I thought Little would be problematic. Boy was I wrong! He climbed up in that chair and did everything they asked of him. The only thing they had problems with was the xray where they put that little card in the mouth. But, they weren't terribly concerned since they had the 360. He checked out fine and was on his way with a goodie bag and balloon. What a great way to start out. Too bad it didn't end up that way. Middle Bit and Big Bit both have cavities which will be a small fortune to fix. Big Bit also had an ortho consult. I was thinking we had a few years before we started anything because she hasn't lost all of her baby teeth. WRONG! Apparently her upper jaw is too small and she needs a palate expander. They want to put it on with a few brackets in the next couple of months. So, what we'd planned on insurance covering for braces will now be spent on the expander. I have no experience with one of these. I wore braces for 4 years and they pulled permanent teeth as well as my wisdom teeth, but nothing like this. They also told us that Middle Bit will need one and to start saving because both girls will need the expander as well as braces. Fantastic. But, at least we got an advance warning and can save for a couple of years. Maybe Little Bit will be lucky and take after my brother and Woody and not need any ortho work. I can hope, right?

Unacceptable

The size of my ass. Seriously. I worked so hard over the last couple of years to lose weight and since I've moved back to Wichita all I've done is pack on the pounds. What is it about this place? I can try to blame it on thyroid issues or blood sugar issues all I want, but part of it is that I LIKE FOOD! A friend of mine told me I'm getting fat because I'm happy again. (Being back home.) And that happy people eat. So that creates a quandry in and of itself. I'm unhappy that I'm a lardo, but do I go into a depression just to get thin? That doesn't seem right, either. So now I have some things to figure out. How can I eat what I want and it not make me blow up? Or, how can I eat more healthy but still feel satisfied? And, how am I supposed to exercise when my knees are on the verge of having a blow-out? I don't know. I think I'll go munch on some coconut creme Hershey kisses while I ponder all of this.

Playing "Where's Waldo"

That's kind of how I feel right now. I feel like I am here, there and everywhere. I haven't updated in a while, so I figure while it's quiet I'll take a minute or two.

Things are going well. I am currently splitting my work hours. I work Friday and Saturday on 2nd shift and Sunday, Monday and Tuesday on 3rd. It messes up my sleep schedule, but we are short people so I am trying to help out. I'm also picking up overtime when I can. There are a few things we are really working on having paid off by August, so that is where that money is going. I also have a trainee sitting with me the next 3 weeks. I haven't trained in a while, so I'm having to get back into a groove. My schedule makes my home/personal life pretty much non-existant. Thank goodness I am surrounded by understanding family and friends.

We took an unexpected trip to Arkansas a couple of weeks ago. Nathan's grandpa (Granddaddy) passed away. He took it pretty hard. We haven't seen him in over 6 years. In fact, he's never even met Mariah or Grayson. We know that he understood and loved us none-the-less. But, it was still hard for Nathan to swallow. I think it really brought home the importance of family and spending quality time with them.

The kids are doing well. Haley is flourishing in 3rd grade. Her teacher had nothing but good things to say at conferences. Sometimes it sounds like she is describing a different child than what walks through the door at my house! Mariah is LOVING her peer model program. Her teacher said she exemplifies what it means to be a peer model. She said that when she transitions to Kindergarten that she has no doubt she will continue to be a model student. That really made my day. She is really picking up on things quickly. After 2 weeks she was already able to write her name. Haley often plays "school" with her at home and is teaching her basic math. I need to get some flashcards and such so they can do more "school work". Grayson is....Grayson. He is 3 and I feel it in my bones every single day. That child is non-stop from the time he gets up until he falls asleep. I'd love to get him into a preschool program, but his hyperactivity concerns me. He is still my tiny boy, but is starting to catch up to others his age.

Other than all of that, not a lot to report. This month is filled with training, overtime, spring break and my one sanity saving night of Bunco. While I tend to complain about the speed of our life and the stages of the kids, I wouldn't have it any other way. I know these days are short-lived and I'll look back in a couple of years and wonder where they all went.

People with NOTHING to do...

People need to mind their own business. Within the last month, I have read 2 blogs (one belonging to a fantastic woman on my moms group) where CPS has been called on the writers. Seriously people? Many of us bloggers, men and women alike, blog to get things out. We also blog to share our ups and downs, joys and downfalls with people. Never would I think of calling CPS or the police on someone from another state whom I've never met. While I don't know all the circumstances surrounding the callings and I'm sure I never will, I just want to send cyber hugs to those that have had to deal with this. It's disgraceful.

Am I a Loser???

I sure hope so! The City of Derby is sponsoring a Biggest Loser contest for city employees. While I was in Gardner I worked really hard on getting my weight off, but since we've moved back I've been slacking and have started putting the weight back on. YIKES! So, I am hoping that this, paired with my other mommy friends working on getting healthy will be what I need to get my butt in gear. I've battled my weight for as long as I can remember. (But seriously, what was I thinking calling myself "fat" when I was a size 1??? I haven't seen that number for a long time unless there was another number following it!) I'm going to get an elliptical for the house, because I don't have and can't afford a gym membership. So, wish me luck and hopefully by summer you'll see an improved Marissa!

How do you stop history from repeating itself?

A very dear friend of mine (I will call her "K"), albeit MUCH younger, but still dear just found out she is pregnant. She is young, unmarried and her boyfriend is a complete tool. This girl has been a part of my life for quite a few years and has really become part of my family. I've often told her mom how much she reminds me of myself at that age. Goes to show I wasn't too far off. This time nine years ago I was sitting my parents down and telling them that I was pregnant. I'll never forget that look of disappointment in their eyes. Now K is going through the same thing. She has a crappy, dead-end job with no prospect of advancement, she is young and doesn't have a specialized skill, but worst of all, she has a boyfriend that she loves more than he loves her. How do I make her see that she is better than that and that she deserves better than that? I grew up in a fairly strict family, so making things work was a given. But how do I let her know she doesn't have to follow that same path? That just because he's the father doesn't make him a good life partner, much less a good dad? How do I make her see that she has worth and that she can do this without him? I've made the best of my situation, but I want more for her.

When is Enough, Enough?

How long do you attempt to communicate with someone knowing it does no good? How many restless, sleepless nights do you go before taking action? How many normal conversations turned arguments do you have before you stop talking? How long do you go knowing you are giving all of yourself but knowing the person isn't? How long do you take to decide that leaving is easier than staying?

40 Tips for 2009

It's funny how things show up just when you need them. A friend of mine who probably doesn't even read this emailed this to me. It really struck a chord. Yesterday I needed to vent in a bad, bad way. Today I am in a better place and ready to put some of these to the test.

40 Tips for a Better Life - 2009

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.

7. Make time to practice meditation and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of six.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants. Eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let ne w and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, or issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime .

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. REMEMBER GOD heals everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!)

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

40. Let the LOVE that comes into your life, go out of your life.

Party Pics

5 Years

Where has the time gone? Middle Bit turned 5 today. It doesn't seem possible. She was our little miracle baby. (Not that I don't believe all babies are miracles.) But, we worked so hard to get her here. It was a long, touchy pregnancy and she was born perfectly healthy. She had an angel watching over her, because her cord had a perfect, complete knot that baffled the doctor. My dark-headed princess is now a blond-haired diva. We celebrated today with family. She wanted a cake in the shape of a purse, so I tried my hand at cake-making/decorating. It turned out ok, but I definitely need some classes! But, she liked it so that was what was important. She got to celebrate her day with those that love her. Tomorrow she has her first day of pre-kindergarten. My baby isn't a baby anymore.