Tuesday, August 10, 2010

How Do I "Let Go"?

I always here people say to "let it go and let God handle it". I'm even guilty of saying it. But I have realized I don't know how. For those that don't know, the City of Derby is eliminating their emergency communications department. This will most like occur in January 2012. Yes, I know that is a ways away, but I am a planner. I need to know that no matter what happens my family will be taken care of. While I am not the bread-winner for our family, I am the one who carries the health insurance and life insurance and retirement plans. The City has said they will possibly keep a few of us on in a different position, but they can't tell us who they will keep on,in what capacity or what the pay will be. I just don't know who to let this go. I am so scared right now. Nathan and I are struggling as it is,so to find out that I might have to take yet another cut in pay is agonizing. Try as I may, I just don't know HOW to hand this over. How do I NOT worry about this? I don't have another skill set to fall back on. I don't have a degree to fall back on. I know how to wait tables, answer phones and dispatch. Not a whole lot to build on there. So, if anyone has any words of advice, I am all ears. I want to be able to let God take this over. I want to be able to think about this and not have a panic attack. I want to not feel like I am always on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

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